Ooops!

"Hypnotized
In a trance

From this body, so butter and brown and tantalizing

You would have thought I needed help from this feeling that I felt

So shook I had to catch my breath

Oops!!"

I love myself !!! (no not in the 'M' word way that Tweet meant it ) LoL

I'm not vain (before you start worrying) , I'm actually very down to earth and practical, but I would be silly not to appreciate the extra time God took in creating me ;) .

If you met me 10 years ago, you wouldn't be speaking to this body confident person. I was obese, weighed in at 18 stone and wore a size 26. The only place where I could shop were Evans and Etam and I lived in huge flowy skirts and tent shirts ... apologies to any fat folks out there, but it was a disaster !

I worked really hard to look the way I do now, so forgive me for feeling special. I did a 360 ...and its now strange because I am so unforgiving of obesity. Yes its hard work losing weight. I still work hard because all i have to do is look at a cake and I gain a pound (doesn't stop me though because I eat my cakes and then hit the gym). I look stunning, I walk in a room and most people look (well they used to look when I was fat , but this time they look for the right reasons). I take pleasure in maintaining the beautiful and well oiled engine that is me.

When I read stories like the ones below I really don't understand it

34-stone woman dies after becoming fused to the fabric
"A 34-stone American woman who had not left her sofa in six years died this week after becoming fused to the fabric.
Gail Grinds, 40, whose skin had actually grown into the cushions of the seat, passed away in hospital after paramedics attempted to cut her out of it.
Emergency"


Half Ton Mum


In the case of the half ton mum she was involved in a car crash which reduced her mobility for some time, but in my view that was not enough reason to let herself go . I also have a good friend who is obese but blames it on medication that she is taking to battle an illness. There is no excuse whatsoever ; I'm sorry but are you the first one to be incapacitated by a car crash , or are you the only one on that medication? why don't all the other people who have shared your circumstances weigh 40 stone?. If I as a teenager (I was 18 when I decided to take control ) can spot I have a problem and do something about it then these people have no excuse.

What is wrong with these people? Do they hate themselves ???

Any way forgive me for loving me so much.

Unmodern

Confusion ....

Man
I got a call yesterday. It was a voice I couldn't place. When the call came through I was standing outside with the mechanic who had dropped by to inspect my car. I said 'sorry who is this?' he replied 'what do you mean who is this ...you mean you don't know my voice?' Gosh how I hate it when people do that. But at that moment I didn’t have time to guess ...the mechanic was standing right in front of me, so I said I'd call him in 5 minutes. I called it was THE EX ...when I say THE EX ...I mean the significant EX. I was in love with him, he was in love with me, life happened and it didn't work out (Ill save the jist for another day). We stayed friends (we were always best friends whilst we dated) but after we split up I had to distance myself, mostly because it was too hurtful. He is one of the reasons why I'm single today ...I mean 5 years later and still no one else comes close.

We speak a little.

The Ex: I really should come and visit you ...I have never been to {Unmodern's location}
Unmodern: (I feel myself panicking but I say) really
The Ex: Except if I'm not welcome...
Unmodern: You are always welcome; just let me know when you want to come
(In my head I'm thinking, why do you want to come see me? what do you wnat now?)

Now the last time I saw The Ex was 3 years ago. It was the same type of call. The day before he arrived I came home to a dozen white roses, some champagne, and a box of Thornton’s truffles. He's always been romantic. He spoke about being confused and not being sure if he was doing the right thing ...he said he didn’t want to burden me with the details, but he needed to see me one last time. A month later he called and invited me to his wedding. I wished him well but did not attend.

Now out of the blue he wants to visit and I'm letting him ...boyyyy I'm confused

Car
I have a car, but I don’t drive it because I can’t be arsed. I take a taxi or walk pretty much every where. So my car has been sitting in my drive for the past year. 6 months ago I forgot I even had a car and accordingly I stopped going to warm it up and the battery went flat, and now it needs its MOT done. The mechanic came yesterday and jump started it apparently I need to change all 4 tyres and it should pass its MOT the only problem is the tyres which are worn down.

The mechanic said 'Do you want part one tyres' I say 'it depends on the cost' he says they cost around £25 each. I'm like £100 for all 4 tyres?? Sounds good!!! (Last time I bought a tyre I called the AA and it cost me £65 for 1 tyre.

Any way the mechanic leaves and I start to wonder what 'Part one' tyre means. So I call my friend who knows everything about these things and he laughs and says 'Part one means second hand'

Any way I like the price of second hand tyres but I don't know if they will be safe or if they will last in the long run ...I'm confused

Job
I was offered a new job in a different city. It should be a 'No brainier’. It pays 50% more than I earn now, it’s in a city where I have lots of friends, and my prospective employers seem really nice and really want me on board.

But I’ve been too chicken to resign. I’ve been sitting on the offer for 4 weeks now. And when they started pushing for my reference I told them I hadn’t resigned yet as the person I wanted to tell first was on holiday.

I love my current job. Yes I’ve had a few patchy bits recently (see http://totallyunmodern.blogspot.com/2008/02/miss-not-so-perfect.html ) but all in all they have been very fair to me. I'm worried out leaving. I can’t believe I can’t resign. I thought I really wanted to make a move but it’s proving hard

I’ve told myself I have to resign tomorrow ...but that what I said on Friday and I had the resignation letter burning a hole in my purse all day on Friday but didn’t actually resign ...I'm confused ...