Its 2 for 1 today because I forgot to publish my last post till I logged in to write this one :D
I'm a little bit forlorn. I have been wanting desperately to meet someone I connect with, someone who I can partner with ...I thought I'd met him ...
You remember 'a one' the borderline ugly guy I was scared to fall for. Well thank goodness I stopped myself from falling ....I really do not get the guy.
So this is him when he asked me out "I am going to ask you to be my girlfriend ...I'm asking straight out because I don't want any ambiguity. I take you seriously and I want to get it right from the onset" well not word for word ...something along those lines ...I thought it was soo charming ...I giggled poked him in the ribs and said "Are you asking me to go steady with you ...like exclusive?" He said "yes ...I really like you, and with someone like you there's so much going on around you that I want to know where we are"
I loved it that he asked me that way...personally the hardest thing for me when it comes to relationships is letting go of my caution. Boy ohhh boy am I cautious ...I'm like really guarded ...and with reason ...I used to think it was because I was hard , but I realise its the total opposite . I'm so vulnerable ...when I love I love really hard ...so it hurts really hard ...so I tend to stay aloof and whilst I might be dating a man I do not really get involved until I'm sure ..you know sure he cares. Being aloof means he can be a jerk ,and it doesn't matter to me because well I never expected any better. When we part, I sigh with relief because all the while I was waiting for him to do something wrong ...and even when he doesnt I make up some reasonas why he doesn't fit and then get out. I know recipie for a miserable love life
Any way long story short ..'a one' sold me,and I decided to let go of my caution ...I opened up (well maybe a little to much) I started caring about how he felt, and wondering if I was caring too much. I feel like a wreck ....I can feel him pulling away from me (surprise surprise ...why does that always happen just as you give them your heart). Any way I think he is probably seeing someone else because I feel a little bit like a mistress. I guess we women always know :) ...you know he never calls me at the weekends any more ...and when I call his phone is off (like who switches off their phone all weekend ). He tries not to intrude and tries not to disturb me and he makes a big show of this ...I thin this is because he does not want me to disturb him or intrude on him . Gosh this feels like a train wreck .
This is the other reason why I don't do relationships ...I hate feeling so vulnerable. I'm thinking I should talk to him about it?. Hopefully its just me being insecure and there's nothing more to it. But I don't want to come across as clingy ...OK this really isn't working... I want to know so I can stop wasting my time ... I'll talk to him on Monday when he switches his phone back on.
3 comments:
you better put your issues forward, or do your research. The switching off the phone during weekends is suspect sha.
Goodluck.
well Pink he called for exactly 30 seconds this morning to explain that he forgot to take his phone charger with him so had only just been able to switch his phone on...he had to get off the phone as he was on his way to church and would call later
Well its 7pm now and still no call back. I was talking to some one about this... and its apparent that I and 'a one' wil probably go our spearate ways this week . No one is that busy... I shouldnt have to fight for my 'Boyfriend's' attention. Uusaully Im fighting fo rthem to stop crowding me and give me some space ...but it looks like I have met my match. What confuses me is why he asked me out ...maybe he just wanted to see if I would say yes :D
its a sign when a guy is always busy and have to switch off his phone.
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