Things Men Say

Today I was just thinking about some laughable situations I have been in with men and just though I’d share

There was this guy who had been on my case for years ManU (he is crazy about Manchester United). I’m talking seriously ...ManU never missed birthday or an opportunity to show me he cared. ManU would post me compilation CDs (that was soo cute, because last time someone did me a mix tape was back in high school). On a brief hiatus I decided that as I wasn't meeting any men I was interested in maybe it was time to re-examine these men that I automatically dismiss but who so obviously care.

When I told ManU I had just moved into a new place and was decorating, he offered to drive down to help. I thought okay maybe this is an opportunity to get to know him better ...and of course also get my walls painted :D. So the weekend came, we had a great time. He was a great guy he painted the living room, whilst I painted the kitchen. He set up my IKEA wardrobe ...LOL I don’t know how I would have managed that if he wasn’t there because it was a monstrous wardrobe (triple door). He helped me get my washing machine upstairs and connected the plumbing. He sorted out the light fixtures, and when I wanted to fix him a nice dinner to thank him, he wouldn’t let me and he insisted we go out as we had both been working hard.

Any way I started thinking how foolish I was to have overlooked this good man. Okay fair enough he was not everything I thought I wanted in a man but from his persistence in trying to win my attention over the 3 years that I’d known him it would be safe to say he would be caring and loving. So with these thoughts I went to bed smiling ...after setting ManU up in the second bedroom. At 1am there is a knock on my door. I wake up still sleepy.

Unmodern: Hey ManU are you okay?
ManU: I can’t sleep
Unmodern: (lets ManU in to the room) I know it’s been a long day. Probably the long drive here yesterday and then all the work we did today.
ManU: Yeah maybe
Unmodern: Should I fix you something to drink? ...I have some cocoa
ManU: No, I just want to talk to you. Seriously I don’t know why you won’t give me a chance. You know I like you, yet you prefer to remain alone ...or at least you keep saying you are single
Unmodern: I think I’m just waiting for the right person ...the right time
ManU: so what is wrong with me? Do you think I am ugly?
Unmodern: of course you are not ugly
ManU: I want to treat you right
Unmodern: Thank you ManU ...I think you are a great guy ...but with me sometimes it takes time
ManU: I want to drink from your furry cup
Unmodern: (yikes!!!!...ok now I’m awake) what did you say???
ManU: Let me drink from your furry cup
ManU: Don’t worry you will enjoy it
Unmodern: (I really want to start laughing ...but he looks so serious that I just say) Err thank you very much but no one is drinking from my cup today

The next day I Googled ‘Furry Cup’ just to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood. Lawd have mercy...I haven’t seen ManU again since then. We are still friendly and talk once in a while, but that I want to drink from your furry cup business totally killed it for me.

What was I supposed to say to that? ‘Yes here’s my cup ...drink away? ....abeg...do peeps actually proposition each other like that? Or is it just me being a prude?