A Craving ...

I like the good things, but I'm not materialistic.

Eg take my car. It is very efficient but not flashy. I can easily afford something much nicer...you know that shouts LOOK AT ME ....I HAVE ARRIVED. But each time I visit websites and see a brand new car etc something stops me. I dont really wnat it , I dont really need it.

Any way all my rambling is just to set a context/ background. I’m planning the decor for my new living room. And I thought it would be nice to have a good chess set to hand. I love playing chess, so I started looking online for a quality set, you know real hard wood etc. The budget I had in mind was around £100.

Then I saw this:

I swear I got wet ...I have never wanted anything so badly. I searched frantically for the price...it was not displayed (they said please contact us if you are interested) so I started guessing I was in trouble. It is beautiful, real crystal, hand crafted ...stunning! Also limited edition with only 10 to be made. In my head I started to rationalise, you know I'm always so sensible, I deserve a treat ...even if they say it is $1000 i.e. £500 it’s not too bad. After all a lot of women I know spend that on a handbag ...and this is something that will last longer.

I whipped myself to frenzy. I did more research and found out that of the limited edition 10, the first was commission specially for the movie Lucky Number Slevin. I didnt know that before I decided I had to have it ...but it added to the effect ;)
So I called and enquired about getting one ...Id already promised myself that I would not balk at the cost. I would just whip out my credit card and pay before I had the chance to talk myself out of it. Then they sent me the quote $7500 my heart has never sunk so fast ... £3,700??? Man I wish I was rich. I need to start working harder. I really want this and I can’t afford it ...well I could technically pay for it yes ...but really I can't afford it. Poverty is a b*tch.

Rampant Rabbit

I have never masturbated

3 years ago, a male friend (well toaster) asked how often I masturbated. I said I never had ...he didn't believe me. I started wondering why I'd never touched myself ....to be honest I guess I'd just never been inclined to.

After our telephone conversation , I tried to masturbate . It didn't work . Trying to stimulate myself felt weird . Strangely I was shy to do it even though I was the only one in the room.

I didn't think much about masturbating again until recently. I was at a comedy show, and there was a brilliant female stand up who brought out a Rampant rabbit as part of her act ...I was mesmerized

She extolled its virtues , and I was sold . I wish I knew how to masturbate . It would be so liberating , I.e learning how to pleasure myself . It probably would help my sex life as well because you would probably find it easier to let a man know what pleases you if you know what it is. At the moment I don't know and I haven't explored my body at all ... so even when I'm with someone who wants to go all out for me I cant really guide them.

These gadgets are able to pulse , wave, vibrate at varying speeds all at the touch of a button. I have been online today researching / trying to see if I Can find something that will help me start / feel comfortable about masturbating. I also wanted to order a rabbit but it looks sooo big , I'm not sure if I want to start out with something that huge. I might look round for something smaller / more discreet.

Even as I type I'm not sure if I will be able to use the gadgets once they arrive .

Any hints tips or links gratefully received.

Thanks

Rats !!!

See me see trouble

Rats or maybe mice got into my home!!!

I don't know how or why ....Lord help me. One of my friends said it’s because it’s the city centre, apparently rodents can be expected. The house is new build and I've only been here a year.

The worst bit is the area of the house they have infested i.e. the lower kitchen cupboards. It’s disgusting, they nibbled the potatoes, ate all the flour, and because I haven’t used the kitchen for a while (sharrap I've been busy) I didn't notice they’d been having a ball and dining like kings on my groceries. Basically I can time it because the last time I opened those cupboards was about 2 months ago so they have been feasting away for 2 months.

I bought some Rodine and laid out some baits. Then I called pest control. The pest control guy says they are coming in through a hole in the wall where the pipes come in. The pipes for the water etc, and this is routed behind the cupboard hence their direct access to my groceries. They haven't bothered to check out the rest of the house yet as they have everything they need in the cupboards.

I emptied the cupboards and left the poison inside. For the past week I have been refreshing the bait and they have been eating it ...and they are still not all gone.

I have been dreaming about rats. I can't sleep because I keep seeing visions of them running upstairs , I’m scared to go into my kitchen incase they come out.

3 days ago I decided to leave some bait around the rest of the house, you know just to check if they visit any where else ...and BAM!!! Yesterday the bait in the bathroom was eaten so the little buggers have started leaving the cupboards. I'm not going to be able to sleep today either because there is a door connecting the bathroom to my bedroom. I did some research and they can gnaw anything that is softer than their teeth. They can also survive in a freezer and love to eat frozen food. They can climb / jump up to 12 ft.

I feel like crying . The worst bit is that the pest contrail guy said he couldn't block the hole they are coming through . He also said 'It will be bad if they get into the ceiling , because it would mean we have to take the whole ceiling down '

Lord have mercy !!!