Healthy competition ?

SO I'm back .. I know I've neglected the blog

As you have probably guessed form my last entry my life has been very busy. There is so much jist I'm just goanna have to let you have it in instalments I guess.

So here's part 1 any way. I went on my holiday and had a blast. My friend Kitty (you might recall her form my earlier post) rung me shortly before our holiday. She asked me if I remembered a guy from our Uni, I said yeah ... 'Hazy'?? Well he was always smoking weed and generally spaced out.

I bumped into him on a holiday in Lagos 2 years ago and he asked me if I was from Finland LMAO ...I'm like dude do I look Finnish? He said sorry all through Uni I thought you were from Finland for some reason. I smiled and said well I think you mixed me up with some one else. Any way this shows my point he was always high ...so high he thought I was Finnish.
Kitty said ..."well I was speaking to him online invited him along on our holiday ...I hope you don't mind". I'm like I'm cool whatever.

Long story short Hazy arrived at *exotic location* well we saw him waiting in our hotel bar when we decided to go back to our hotel room to see if he had left a message. I saw Hazy and my heart nearly skipped beat DAAAAMMMMM dude had gone from Hazy to HOTBODY since the last time I saw him. I and Kitty must have been thinking the same thing, because we said hello to him and then rushed upstairs and shut the door 'OMIGOSH ,...did you see Hazy ...he is sooo sexy now ! 'Damn this Kitty girl ...she already has a man and she is still chasing the single ones :(

Any way Hazy was staring at me all evening so I thought to myself 'I got this' not realising that Kitty was ready for war. Any way whilst I was till playing my normal hard to get and doing small shakara for the guy, Kitty was slipping into a hot red mini dress upstairs complete with stilettos (she meant war) and then spent the rest of the evening draping herself over Hazy and generally flaunting her goods at him. I don't blame Hazy...you should have seen how quickly his focus was redirected from me to this silly vampire (I know I'm bitter)

Any way they spent the rest of the holiday all loved up. It took me another 4 good days to get over it because it's not every day I see a guy I fancy that much. I actually said to Kitty after the first night "You silly heifer you are wasting a good man ...you already have a man :(" She shrugged and said "sorry babes I know you fancied him but I fancied him too"

Any way question is if you were in my shoes in this scenario how hard would you work to get a guys attention??. To be honest I've never had to try so I don't know how. I know how to let a guy know I'm interested subtly but I don't think I can compete blatantly like Kitty was doing. Don't get me wrong I love my girl and she is not the type who would actually go after my man (if he was my man) etc so that not the topic here. This was a guy we both knew from school and both met again at the same time and for her it was like GAME ON

Back to work
Na wa for credit crunch o . No sooner than I start a new job than I start worrying about redundancies. All deals have dried up. My whole team is basically marketing etc to try to win new work. Its scary there's a whole team of ten of us being paid city wages and not bringing dough in. And they will probably do LIFO ...Lord have mercy. If I'm laid off thats it ...I've run up so much credit card debt recently ...LOL well I went to *exotic location* furnished my new home (everything is new) and haven't been working for the past 2 months so you gots to understand when I say huge bills. Any way my strategy is to be pally with my bosses. I might be new but please don't kick me out first it had better not come to that!

Update on my redecoration
I almost forgot to update you . Well I threw my painting party and all my siblings helped out with the painting not without complaining mind you . LOL , but they did a great job though they were all hinting that I really should get someone in too paint next time . No chance, I called 0800handyman and they quoted me £60 for first hour and then £50 for each subsequent hour or £250 full day rate ….for what?

Even the local cowboys were talking £30 per hour. Say what???

Any way, even though I tried not to use any guys I still ended up doing so accidentally (lol). Since I've been in *New city* my stock has risen, …everyday someone asks for my number. Any way one of the guys I gave my number to called as I was doing some DIY. And I said 'Look I don't have time to talk I'm quite busy at the moment' . He seemed a bit upset and was like "what are you busy doing ?" I told him and he said well let me know if I can help. I was so not in the mood to be disturbed I lashed out and said something along the lines of "I don't need help over the phone, …what are you going to do over the phone , I need practical help from a practical man" I drop the phone. 1 hour later I get a call and he says "you live around *newtown* right ? I say yes …then he says "well I just arrived at "new town station" let me know how to get to you and what you need me to do" . Gbam just like that dude came and fixed up my flatpack bed for my room the spare room and all the dining furniture. I've decided it aint such a bad thing ...I need help and someone doesn't mind helping so no harm done.

After 4 hours or so of putting furniture together he says "that's the problem with you women, you shouldn't be doing stuff like this yourself. please just call me if you ever need too do anything like this again , I can't believe you were actually going to try to put all this up yourself" I laugh and think to myself …this dude better not think he's getting any loving because he built wardrobe …

Last day at work...well last proper day and redecorating

Almost last day
I told you guys I was changing jobs and relocating I also cleverly (note sarcasm) booked a flight away on holiday for this Friday. So today I woke up and cleaned flat etc ready for next occupant, I leave work to 12noon tomorrow drive down with what’s left of my load to the new city , then the day after have to get up and be at Heathrow by 9am. I keep forgetting I’m not 18 years old any more :D

Long and short of the story ...I haven’t had time to read blogs talk less of write. 007's update message caught me at a good time though. I have handed over all my work to the new gimp LOL and I’m here sitting at my desk doing nothing and tempted to switch on my “I have left Company X please try another Gimp” message even though I’m not due to leave until tomorrow morning.


Credit Crunch
See me see trouble everyone is waiting to see what’s happening to the property market, and fool hardy me launched straight in and exchanged contracts for a flat in the new city.

Fair enough I kept haggling until the lady took £18k below her asking price, but I am still worried I will lose money on the place. But hey I have decided I needed a place to live any way, and I desperately want a place where I can paint the walls neon green and hot pink if I want. So whatever the market may be doing I think it was right for me personally to buy. Hopefully I will be there for a fair few years so even if the recession continues yes it will hurt but I hope I will still like the place and enjoy living there.

Getting my walls painted

Ok so I’m already in the process of psyching my male admirers up...Because that my house needs serious painting when I move in :D. Is it morally wrong to do this? LOL I don’t think so because after they paint they get a nice hot meal and my eternal gratitude. I think they all know what I’m doing any way because here is a slice of my conversation with one of my likes me but is firmly in friend zone admirers SJ

Unmodern: So SJ I’m limbering up for all the decorating I will have to do when I get to [New city]. The place is going to look so nice you really must come and see it before I start doing the work so you can see the progress

SJ: Are you trying to trick me into painting your walls again? Cos you remember when you moved to XXX you invited me down for a game of badminton and I ended up painting...

Unmodern: Damn LOL I nearly forgot you now ...that is so true ...that was almost 4 years ago...I’ve been busted

SJ: I reckon that's what you do ...bat your eyelids and get us guys to do all the work.

Unmodern: What am I to do ...the first time I redecorated a place by myself I nearly died from stress LOL

SJ: No worries just let me know when you want me to come paint ...as it's you...

Buahahah busted ...didn’t realise I was that transparent. I really should go find out how much decorators charge ...might well be easily affordable instead of picking up this "use guys for decorating" reputation.

Actually I’ve decided to leave SJ alone ...I called my brothers and sisters last weekend and told them I was throwing a painting party ...I will cook or order in takeaways and Pizza , and all 4 of them can come paint and chill at mine for the day. Hey why have a family of 7 if you can’t use them :D . My youngest sis was actually excited and started picking out the wall colours ...whoa slow down ...you dont get any creative control ...you just get to paint :D

My dirty Secrets

Ok that was a misleading title LOL

You clicked hoping to read something salacious, but its not. It’s embarrassing but not really dirty.

1. I have never voted - To be honest I can't believe I have never voted and I'm ashamed of the fact. I studied policlinics and even took part in mock elections at school up until I was 16. But when I became enfranchised i.e. aged 18 I simply turned apathetic. I guess it’s because there is no passion in politics any more just finance. There is no difference between Labour and the conservatives ...so I can't be bothered. Yet I am still deeply ashamed of the fact that I have never voted. People fought and died for my right to vote as a woman , people fought and died for my right to vote as a black person ...why don't I vote (Well I know if they made it possible to vote online Id probably vote :D ...I'm such a loser ) I didnt vote and Boris is now Mayor ...Grrrr

2. I was picking my nose - I didn't realise I was being watched o ....yesterday I was at the gym and waiting for the trainer for the group class to arrive. I sunk intro a chair by the wall, the wall was blocking everyone from viewing me so it seemed like a good opportunity to dig for gold :D. Some cute idiot man chose that very moment to sneak up on me to say hello. WTF ...all the days I have been coming to this gym why it is when I’ve got my finger up my nose that u come up to me. Any way I formed as if I was just scratching it and smiled back sha ...I’ve never been so embarrassed I couldn’t talk to him properly because I was to busy wondering about whether or not he saw how hard I was digging. Lesson learnt wait till you get home before uhnmmmm foraging.

3. I have a date OOOOweeee . My friend introduced us. I haven’t even met him live yet and I’ve already planned our wedding on the basis of some excellent telephone conversations. LOL so this is what desperation feels like :D . LOL but that is how to set something up for failure sha . He will pick me up tomorrow and immediately my heart will sink because he won’t be in a tuxedo with a white carnation on his lapel and holding a ring . So the date will go wrong from the beginning because well except if he is taking me to a church I'm going to be as bored as hell and I won’t be able to hide it :( . He is going to think I'm not really interested ...*bangs head on wall* (ok I’m not that bad o ...just playing ...but I did really imagine us walking down the aisle based on his photo , and I debated whether or not Id keep my last name or if his last name sounded better LOL )

4. My rabbit arrived , but I’ve been too chicken to open the box

5. Ok this has nothing to do with me . Just thought Id share some interesting things I learnt about the human body whilst browsing the internet

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue
The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.
The average woman consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet
When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... Even your heart
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
Koala and humans are the only animals with unique fingerprints.
A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories

Seeing as I have 10 pounds to lose I better find a man and get kissing away ;)

Miss Pretentious and Sorry we can't be friends

Miss Pretentious

I was at a do in North London last weekend. I heard a young Nigerian lady speaking to someone else. She said "I don't know where to go to get Nigerian ingredients ..." I piped up thinking I could help...I asked "Where do you live" She said "Dartford" ". I'm like ...oh Woolwich is near you and it has a lot of Nigerian food stores out there". She looked at me with her nose in the air and said " Woolwich ???? Isn’t that a rough part ???"

Oh my Lawd ...I have never wanted to smack any one across the face so badly, but I bit my tongue (nowadays I err on the side of diplomacy) and I said ...hey watch it (in a joking manner) I used to live there. Any way if you can get up the courage to venture into the jungles of Woolwich ...you will be able to find some Nigerian Food...where do you get your Nigerian food from now ? She said "Oh there are a few places in Dartford , but fortunately for me I don’t really eat Nigerian food, but my Husband likes it so he gets to go and buy it"

This idiot ruined my afternoon . I hate coming across people who behave like that , they leave such a bad taste in my mouth . Number 1 your friggin ass lives in Dartford (just to help those who are not familiar with eth UK Dartford id not a posh or expensive area) yet you think you are too posh for Woolwich. I mean wait a friggin minute sister ...even if you lived in Kensington etc ...it is still rude/ shows ill breeding for you to open your mouth and make stupid comments like that to other people. I can understand if you say something like that jokingly amongst friends etc ...but this silly heifer was really feeling too posh for Woolwich.

That reminds me of the reason why I don't have that many female friends ...too damn pretentious . They meet you and they start eyeing you up and down ...they friggin live in Dartford and think for some reason they are elevated from others who live 10 minutes away from them ??? Weirdos ...she wasn't even good enough to shine my shoes (my shoes have trekked all over Woolwich :D )


Ok Rant over let me move on to something else....

Sorry we can't be friends

The Ex ...yes the married one really upset me this week . We have maintained a pretty much platonic friendship since we broke up ...well in the sense of no touch no see. But there was still some emotional closeness, and we talk a lot.

I had never met his wife in person, but when they got married he sent me pictures, so I have an idea what she looks like

Any way ...whilst I was out this weekend at a friend’s house (Miss X). A woman walked in. To be honest she didn’t even look familiar. There was a big crowd so I never spoke to her directly thank goodness. But I heard her mention her name from across the room. Turns out she is The Ex‘s wife. All of a sudden I recognised her from the picture. She stared at me a few times ....but that is normal ...a lot of people stare at me ;)

Any way Miss X is getting married so it occurred to me that The Ex and his wife would definitely be at the wedding. I thought it only fair to let he Ex know that I'd bumped into her. So the next time we spoke I said where Id been that weekend ...The EX said “Ohhh you know Miss X too. She is my wife’s friend ...My wife was supposed to go there this weekend but could not make it"

WTF ??? Now the reason why I brought it up was to be open so you would know I met your wife and also know that you will bump into me at the wedding. That way it doesn’t catch you off guard...I didn’t say this to him, instead I said “that is funny because I could have sworn I saw her there ...maybe it is someone who looked just like her” ...The idiot said “yeah probably some one that looked like her”

Ok ...he had to go and get high school on me. That little scene right there just killed what ever hopes I had of maintaining an adult platonic relationship with him. If you can’t be open/ mature, but keep acting as if you have something to hide then sorry, we don’t have anything to talk about going forward. We were such good friends that some where in the back of my mind I must have been hoping that there would be some way of normalising our relationship (by normalise I mean a situation where there isnt any discomfort between him and his wife or me and my partner) . Right now I’m not really interested in having anything to do with this man going forward, confidant or no confidant.

A Craving ...

I like the good things, but I'm not materialistic.

Eg take my car. It is very efficient but not flashy. I can easily afford something much nicer...you know that shouts LOOK AT ME ....I HAVE ARRIVED. But each time I visit websites and see a brand new car etc something stops me. I dont really wnat it , I dont really need it.

Any way all my rambling is just to set a context/ background. I’m planning the decor for my new living room. And I thought it would be nice to have a good chess set to hand. I love playing chess, so I started looking online for a quality set, you know real hard wood etc. The budget I had in mind was around £100.

Then I saw this:

I swear I got wet ...I have never wanted anything so badly. I searched frantically for the price...it was not displayed (they said please contact us if you are interested) so I started guessing I was in trouble. It is beautiful, real crystal, hand crafted ...stunning! Also limited edition with only 10 to be made. In my head I started to rationalise, you know I'm always so sensible, I deserve a treat ...even if they say it is $1000 i.e. £500 it’s not too bad. After all a lot of women I know spend that on a handbag ...and this is something that will last longer.

I whipped myself to frenzy. I did more research and found out that of the limited edition 10, the first was commission specially for the movie Lucky Number Slevin. I didnt know that before I decided I had to have it ...but it added to the effect ;)
So I called and enquired about getting one ...Id already promised myself that I would not balk at the cost. I would just whip out my credit card and pay before I had the chance to talk myself out of it. Then they sent me the quote $7500 my heart has never sunk so fast ... £3,700??? Man I wish I was rich. I need to start working harder. I really want this and I can’t afford it ...well I could technically pay for it yes ...but really I can't afford it. Poverty is a b*tch.

Rampant Rabbit

I have never masturbated

3 years ago, a male friend (well toaster) asked how often I masturbated. I said I never had ...he didn't believe me. I started wondering why I'd never touched myself ....to be honest I guess I'd just never been inclined to.

After our telephone conversation , I tried to masturbate . It didn't work . Trying to stimulate myself felt weird . Strangely I was shy to do it even though I was the only one in the room.

I didn't think much about masturbating again until recently. I was at a comedy show, and there was a brilliant female stand up who brought out a Rampant rabbit as part of her act ...I was mesmerized

She extolled its virtues , and I was sold . I wish I knew how to masturbate . It would be so liberating , I.e learning how to pleasure myself . It probably would help my sex life as well because you would probably find it easier to let a man know what pleases you if you know what it is. At the moment I don't know and I haven't explored my body at all ... so even when I'm with someone who wants to go all out for me I cant really guide them.

These gadgets are able to pulse , wave, vibrate at varying speeds all at the touch of a button. I have been online today researching / trying to see if I Can find something that will help me start / feel comfortable about masturbating. I also wanted to order a rabbit but it looks sooo big , I'm not sure if I want to start out with something that huge. I might look round for something smaller / more discreet.

Even as I type I'm not sure if I will be able to use the gadgets once they arrive .

Any hints tips or links gratefully received.

Thanks

Rats !!!

See me see trouble

Rats or maybe mice got into my home!!!

I don't know how or why ....Lord help me. One of my friends said it’s because it’s the city centre, apparently rodents can be expected. The house is new build and I've only been here a year.

The worst bit is the area of the house they have infested i.e. the lower kitchen cupboards. It’s disgusting, they nibbled the potatoes, ate all the flour, and because I haven’t used the kitchen for a while (sharrap I've been busy) I didn't notice they’d been having a ball and dining like kings on my groceries. Basically I can time it because the last time I opened those cupboards was about 2 months ago so they have been feasting away for 2 months.

I bought some Rodine and laid out some baits. Then I called pest control. The pest control guy says they are coming in through a hole in the wall where the pipes come in. The pipes for the water etc, and this is routed behind the cupboard hence their direct access to my groceries. They haven't bothered to check out the rest of the house yet as they have everything they need in the cupboards.

I emptied the cupboards and left the poison inside. For the past week I have been refreshing the bait and they have been eating it ...and they are still not all gone.

I have been dreaming about rats. I can't sleep because I keep seeing visions of them running upstairs , I’m scared to go into my kitchen incase they come out.

3 days ago I decided to leave some bait around the rest of the house, you know just to check if they visit any where else ...and BAM!!! Yesterday the bait in the bathroom was eaten so the little buggers have started leaving the cupboards. I'm not going to be able to sleep today either because there is a door connecting the bathroom to my bedroom. I did some research and they can gnaw anything that is softer than their teeth. They can also survive in a freezer and love to eat frozen food. They can climb / jump up to 12 ft.

I feel like crying . The worst bit is that the pest contrail guy said he couldn't block the hole they are coming through . He also said 'It will be bad if they get into the ceiling , because it would mean we have to take the whole ceiling down '

Lord have mercy !!!